2018 was a whirlwind of a year. I started university and then consequently decided to transfer to a different one. I made new friends and met numerous new and interesting people while on the flip side I saw a lot of my old friendships end or fizzle out. I went through a low point at the start of the year and came out a better person for it.
12 months seems like a really long time but it really isn’t that long in reality. 9 months ago I was going through a really low point. I was distant, withdrawn and overly emotional and my anxiety made me nervous in situations I used to love. I didn’t want to go out other than for class. I started working through what I was dealing with and during this process, I discovered journaling and quickly fell in love. For me, there is nothing better than sitting down after a long day and letting my thoughts take me where they may.
I struggled with the idea of no longer being friends with people who I had been close to for years. For me, the only times friendships ever ended was when I moved schools or my friends left me so I had never made the conscious decision to leave a friendship on my own terms. However, I realized that its okay to not be friends with people. Its okay to leave and still remember the good times. When I see certain people on social media who I was once close to, I don’t lament that they’re happy. Instead, I try to celebrate their successes and rejoice in the joy they have found. I don’t want to be the kind of person who is spiteful of others because, honestly, its too much work.
This year I learned that it is okay to be selfish. If you have had a bad day and you want to stay at home instead of going out, do that. You should always be your first priority. If something is going to stress you out or upset you, avoid it. Don’t force yourself to endure something for someone else if it’s going to cause problems with your mental or emotional state.
I think your first year out of school is one that will make the real you come out. When you’re not forced into the structure of a school schedule, you have a lot more freedom to explore your passions and interests. Personally, I now have a much better understanding of who I am and where I want to go. This year was a defining one and, although many people are complaining about how it wrecked them, I am grateful for it.
Here’s hoping 2019 brings as much growth, love, and adventure as 2018 did.
All my love and Happy New Year!
– Jos x